The Doctor vs Dracula
by Djinni of the Pen
Summary: The Doctor takes on the concept of vampires. One-shot.


The sound of a motor roared throughout the quiet countryside disturbing birds into flight and causing hares to turn in cautious wonder. The engine was unlike the steam trains that passed occasionally through the hill, their blue smoke billowing listlessly. No, this sound was sharp and increasing in octave, like the sound of metal scraping across metal, and yet completely alien in recognition. Upon a small green hill an apparition formed, wavered for a few moments, and then appeared again. It was, to the familiar eye, the image of a blue police box. It wavered into appearance again as the motor sound increased another octave and this time the box seemed to become solid in its state. Eventually the motor noise died down but the blue box remained firmly in reality. A few moments passed before the sound of a lock turning was heard and the police box opened to reveal the Doctor in all his contagious cheerfulness.

Dressed in pin striped suit and Converse shoes he stepped lithely down onto the hill and stared out at the countryside. His head turned to the sky and he caught the breeze as it past, bringing with it the unmistakable chill of early winter. However the skies were mostly clear and the country bright with colour; he turned to survey the horizon and saw a small village in the distance. No, he thought to himself, no bad weather would ever keep his spirits down.

"Gosh, couldn't you have made it so we landed a few seasons earlier?" The Londoner accent split across the countryside serenity carving it in two. Despite himself, the Doctor winced slightly. He turned to face his companion with a pleasant smile, however.

"Really Donna, you've got to learn to appreciate the moment. Take a look at where we are" He spread his arms wide encompassing his entire surroundings.

Donna Noble took in the view with half the enthusiasm of the Doctor. "What, England?"

The Doctor dropped his hands in dismay. "What? No! Look again, will you. Not everywhere I take you on Earth has been in England."

"Close enough." Donna said with a shrug. She examined her surroundings with slightly more scrutiny but her face still drew blank. "Look," she said "I know you're just dying to tell me so spill it out already."

If possible his grin widened even more. "Transylvania!" He declared.

Donna's face was close to open disbelief. "What, the Transylvania? As in the place with vampires and Dracula and-"

"There are no such things as vampires," The Doctor replied cutting her short. He started making his way down to the village.

Donna stared after him for a moment, her face now clearly marked with disbelief. "Now, wait a minute," she called after him, "are you telling me that in this universe filled with lard babies and aliens and volcano monsters and Ood and…and piranha shadows that eat people that there are no such thing as vampires?"

She had caught up with him now and he turned to regard her. "By vampires you are, I assume, referring to horrible, pasty coloured men with hairy palms, incredible strength, a dislike for sunshine and garlic and, need I not mention, a healthy appetite for human blood?"

Donna paused for a moment in what appeared to be a loss for words. "….Do they have hairy palms?" she said finally. "That's a bit gross don't you think?"

The Doctor rolled his eyes and continued walking. "It would be if they were real."

"So there really are no such things as vampires?" Donna asked, following him.

"That's what I said."

"Oh…," her voice carried a tinge of disappointment.

"What?" The Doctor had heard the tone of her reply.

"Oh, nothing really," She shook her head slightly. "It just seems wrong, that's all."

The Doctor smiled at her. "I seem to have shaken one of the very pillars of Donna Noble's life."

She grimaced at him and he smiled again. "Don't worry," he replied "I'm sure both of us can make up for any lack of imagination the universe might have."

"Well," the Doctor said after they had continued on "I'm sure I can, anyway."

And then Donna hit him.


End file.
